Let’s be honest about something that nobody in the pews wants to admit: Most of us have no idea what spiritual growth actually looks like.
We think it’s a straight line. Up and to the right, like a stock chart for Apple in 2010. We think that if we pray harder, read more chapters, and stop cussing at traffic, we’ll suddenly feel like Mother Teresa on a caffeine high.
But I’ve found that real faith growth is messy. It’s two steps forward and three steps back. It’s feeling like you’re regressing while actually, in the spiritual realm, you’re sprinting.
Here’s the truth that might sting: If you feel like you’re growing, you’re probably not. Genuine maturity usually feels like a breakup—confusing, painful, and full of doubt.
We’ve been sold a prosperity gospel of feelings. But faith isn’t a feeling; it’s a fight. And the fact that you’re even reading this article, searching for signs of life, is the first clue that you’re not as stagnant as you think.
So, how do you know if you're actually making progress when the "fruit" seems rotten? Here are five signs that prove your faith is growing, even when it feels like you're barely holding on.
1. You’ve Stopped Praying "Shopping Lists" and Started Praying "White Flags"
There was a time when my prayer life looked like an Amazon order. "God, give me this job. God, fix this relationship. God, please let there be a Starbucks on this road trip." It was transactional. I was the customer, and God was the cosmic vending machine.
Here’s the sign of growth: You’re praying less for outcomes and more for surrender.
I remember hitting a wall a few years ago. I was exhausted, burnt out, and honestly, a little bitter. I tried to pray for a solution, but the words wouldn't come. All I could manage was, "God, I can't do this anymore. You're going to have to take it."
I thought I had failed. I thought I had lost my faith.
But I hadn't. I had actually grown up. When your prayers shift from "change my circumstances" to "change my heart," you've crossed a threshold. When you stop demanding a map and start asking for the strength to walk the path, that’s maturity. Wanting God more than you want His gifts is the purest sign of spiritual progression. If your prayer life is shorter but more honest—even if it’s just a lot of sighing—that counts.
2. Your Sin Isn't Just "Bad Behavior" Anymore—It’s a Heartache
Let’s talk about the "conviction shift."
When I was a new believer, I avoided sin because I was scared of getting caught. Or scared of the consequences. It was about rule-following. Don't lie, don't cheat, don't be a jerk—because God is watching.
But I’ve found that the closer you get to the light, the more you see the dust on the floor.
Growing faith changes your relationship with failure. That little white lie you used to tell without blinking? Now it ruins your afternoon. That sarcastic jab at your spouse? It creates a pit in your stomach. You aren't just afraid of hell; you're afraid of hurting the heart of God.
This sounds terrible, right? It sounds like you’re becoming more miserable. But it’s actually the opposite. It means your conscience is being recalibrated. It means the Holy Spirit is actually working. When your sin makes you sad rather than just scared, you’re moving from a slave mentality to a son/daughter mentality. That grief is a sign of life.
3. You've Stopped Trying to "Win" Arguments With Unbelievers
We all know that guy. The one who goes to family dinners with a checklist of logical proofs, ready to debate the existence of God over the turkey. I used to be that guy (or at least I wanted to be).
Growing faith is quieter.
When you truly mature, you realize that you can’t argue someone into the Kingdom. You realize that people aren't intellectual atheists; they are usually emotionally wounded. Their rebellion against God usually has nothing to do with the problem of evil and everything to do with the problem of pain.
Here’s what most people miss: Losing the desire to "win" is actually winning.
If you find yourself listening more than you preach, loving people where they are, and praying for them instead of trying to prove them wrong—that is a massive sign of growth. It means you trust God to do the heavy lifting. It means you’ve stopped putting your faith in your ability to persuade and started putting it in the power of the Spirit. You’re planting seeds, not swinging hammers.
4. You’re Okay With "Unanswered" Prayers
This is the big one. The one that separates the babies from the adults.
When I was younger in my faith, an unanswered prayer was a crisis. It triggered a spiral of doubt: Does God hate me? Did I not have enough faith? Is there a hidden sin in my life?
But growth looks like this: You ask, you wait, and you don't panic when the silence stretches on.
I’ve found that "unanswered" prayers are actually "delayed" or "redirected" prayers. It’s like being a little kid asking for a pet tiger. You think you know exactly what you need, but God, in His infinite wisdom, knows that a tiger will eat you.
When you can look at a closed door and say, "Okay God, I don't get it, but I trust You," you have reached a level of faith that most people never experience. It’s a deep, abiding trust that doesn't need to see the blueprint. If you can sit in the mystery without becoming bitter, you are growing. Period.
5. You've Made Peace With Your Own Limits
This sounds counter-intuitive. We live in a world that tells us we can do anything, be anything, and achieve anything. But the spiritual life is the opposite.
Maturity is admitting you are weak.
I’ve found that the older I get in faith, the less I try to "do" for God, and the more I let Him "do" through me. When you stop feeling guilty for not being at every church event, not volunteering for every ministry, and not having the perfect quiet time every single morning, you’re actually getting it.
The sign of growth isn't that you have more energy for God; it’s that you recognize you have zero energy of your own. It’s the prayer of the tax collector: "God, have mercy on me, a sinner." It’s the admission that you are tired, you are fragile, and you are completely dependent on grace.
When you stop trying to be the hero of your own spiritual story and realize that Jesus is the hero, and you’re just the recipient, everything shifts. That surrender isn't defeat; it’s the ultimate victory.
So, if you’re sitting there feeling like your faith is shrinking, check this list again.
Are you more honest with God? More sensitive to sin? Quieter in your defense of Him? More patient with His timing? More aware of your own fragility?
If you said yes to even one of those, you aren't falling—you're climbing.
The reason it feels like you’re going backward is that the path is steeper than you thought. The view is obscured by the clouds. But the fact that you’re still on the mountain, still breathing, still asking... that’s the proof.
Stop measuring your growth by your emotional highs. Start measuring it by your capacity to endure the lows without walking away.
That’s the real stuff. That’s the faith that moves mountains—not because it’s loud, but because it’s still.
Keep going. You’re doing better than you think.
